A Day In Psalms

I have made it a habit over the past several years to read Psalms and Proverbs through every month. This means 5 Psalms a day to get through in 30 days. So today I started on Psalm 13, then counted out 30 and read Psalm 43, then Psalm 73, and so on. It's quite a nice system.

The Psalms always seem to follow a common theme, and, more often then not, they tend to be exactly what I need to hear for the day. Today was no exception.  The week has been a bit frustrating, there are several confusing questions that God has yet to answer, I'm waiting on some direction, and then to top it all off I had some discouraging situations arise.

I came home - tired and lonely - and determined to try to get some answers.  I grabbed my Bible and a flashlight and ran to my hidden spot in the backyard where I could cry if I needed.  Opening to Psalm 13 I read:

"O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!” Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.
But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me."

Oh, how I could relate to David's distress! But the last part got under my skin. WHY suddenly is David breaking out in joyful songs. What happened in the middle of writing that Psalm that change his entire outlook?  I am envious. But a bit confused too...

I moved on to chapter 43:

For you are God, my only safe haven. Why have you tossed me aside?
Why must I wander around in grief, oppressed by my enemies?
Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me.
Let them lead me to your holy mountain, to the place where you live.
There I will go to the altar of God, to God—the source of all my joy.
I will praise you with my harp, O God, my God!
Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!

There it was again. David, like myself, was searching for answers...for guidance. Suffering because he felt as though God had deserted him. Am I not in the same place. Don't I feel as thought God has maybe forgotten that I am still in need of answers?  But, again, David changes his mood midstream and begins to praise. What happened? I wish I could go back in time to be there, right in that room, listening to David's agony, but then finding out the source of his transformation into joy and trust. It was getting under my skin now...

I cried a few tears of frustration (10 minutes worth or so) then pushed aside my struggle to read on. Psalm 73:

Truly God is good to Israel, to such as are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled; my steps had nearly slipped.
For I was envious of the boastful, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
For there are no pangs in their death, but their strength is firm.
They are not in trouble as other men, nor are they plagued like other men.
Therefore pride serves as their necklace...

Ah, again I could relate. I had envied, today, the people that could do whatever they wanted. Enjoy life, have fun. Those who did not have the burden of obedience. Yes, I am ashamed, I was envious of those who could have fun without worrying about righteousness or wisdom.  I was sick of struggle...of fire...of trouble and pain and self-sacrifice and laying aside my will all the time. I wanted to do my thing my way if God wasn't going to give me my answers...or at least that's how I felt until I read further.

When I thought how to understand this, it was too painful for me—Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I understood their end.
Surely You set them in slippery places; You cast them down to destruction.
Oh, how they are brought to desolation, as in a moment! They are utterly consumed with terrors.
As a dream when one awakes, so, Lord, when You awake, You shall despise their image.
Thus my heart was grieved, and I was vexed in my mind. I was so foolish and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For indeed, those who are far from You shall perish; You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.
But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all Your works.

The truth hit my brain like a shaft of light. David's questions were all answered. Not by whining and complaining or getting frustrated, but by turning his eyes from the question to look at the Solution. Suddenly all the questions - when put in an eternal perspective - were taken care of.  "It is good for me to draw near to God." THERE. That is how David was able to change his attitude. He took his questions and problems, gathered them up, carried them to the Throne Room and handed them to His God. "My heart and flesh fail..." He knew it. I know it. God knows it. "...but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever..." I don't understand how He does it, it's a great mystery. But somehow, when David drew close to God, He changed his outlook. He changed his attitude. He took the worries that were piled up like mountains around David, and He diminished them until it was like David didn't even remember what he was fretting over. Intriguing.

I tried it. I drew near to God...then nearer...nearer...then even more near. I spent time there. I didn't hurry away, I just sat and considered HIM. His character. His nature. The things He's done. The things He has said. Oh, yes, I did ask my questions - or, at least, I tried. I started to whine and it just seemed out of place next to His grandeur. The problems were too little to catch my attention now. I was enthralled. I couldn't keep my mind on the problem long enough to fret over it. I kept getting distracted by the beauty of Christ. I didn't WANT discouragement any more. I wanted God. I wanted joy, and adoration, and love, and trust, and to glory in His unending faithfulness. I wanted to sing and then maybe dance a little. I wanted to praise and worship and bow down and cry, "Holy!" with all the angels. That's what I wanted. So that's what I did.

I don't remember where I left my worries. I must have dropped them somewhere in the Presence of God. I don't have time to stop to search for them now...

Positioned for a Miracle

Do you ever feel that where you are right now is not compatible with where you are going?

Like a lame man looking up a sheer cliff face at his mountaintop destination?

It is curious to notice, though, that this is the place God puts His children in at least once in life. All of His best heroes have spent time in this spot.

And why?

Because this is the spot where we learn what faith is.  This is where we either give discouraged, throw in the towel, and never reach our potential...OR we lift our chin and ask, "I wonder what miracle God is planning here?"

You see, there's always a miracle.  In the exact right time, there is always the perfect miracle.

Look at Joseph. Years in prison - forgotten in prison - but one day the Pharaoh happened to have a dream, and his servant happened to hear of that dream, and that servant had happened to previously been in jail with Joseph, and he had happened to have a dream in prison, that Joseph had happened to interpret, and so the servant happened to tell the king of Joseph, and Joseph happened to be able to interpret Pharaoh's dream, so Pharaoh happened to make him second in command of all of Egypt, happening to fulfill a dream God had given Joseph years before.

Coincidence?

Or was God orchestrating every detail to perfection in Joseph's life so that at the peak time everything slipped effortlessly into place?

Maybe, right here in this uncomfortable place that seems so far from where you're going God is crafting a miracle.

And just maybe that miracle will change your life.

And it won't be coincidence.

But don't get impatient...the delay just means you haven't reached the perfect time yet.

Yet.

And you know what that means...

...it's means your miracle is still coming.

Those Who Dwell...

"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty...Surely He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence..." -Psalm 91:1,3

He who lives, abides, finds his home in deep and real companionship with God will be covered by the protection of the God whose strength greatly exceeds all His enemies. He will be safe, sheltered, comforted, kept under the jurisdiction of the Commander of the Hosts of Heaven - the One who thunders from Heaven to respond with fiery anger to wreak havoc on any that would harm His beloved.


He will deliver that child, that close friend who dwells near Him from the snare of the fowler.
Hunters would hide traps in tall grass to catch the feet of birds as they walked through unsuspectingly. Our God keeps us from falling into the iniquities that we might fail to foresee, or the harm that could come to us when we can't notice the danger ahead. He watches over us to direct us around the devil's traps that trip us up, and cause us to fall when we aren't aware.
The one who is close, who lives daily, hourly in the God's presence will know God's voice as He directs Him carefully through the minefield the enemy of his soul has laid for him. He will be kept safe because he is familiar with the voice of God and is quick to obey that leading.

God will deliver His own - His friends - from the perilous pestilence. He will come between the fearsome plague that come to cause great destruction. He guards us from the things we can't overcome. He keeps death and destruction at bay. When cultures fall around us, when society is drenched in wickedness, when we aren't sure how to keep ourselves or our children safe from being swept into the tide of evil, our God comes to be our great and mighty protector.  The one who makes his home at the feet of God can be sure He will never be overcome by an irresistible evil. Though ten thousand fall at his right side, it can not come near because the Almighty God is his protection.  The friend of God knows his God is greater than any and every wickedness, so he does not fear. He knows evil is the enemy of His God, so he will not succumb to it.

Stay close to God today. Remain near Him tomorrow. Learn to live - not just visit - His presence. Don't make an appearance in His secret place, stay there! This is more than a daily Bible reading plan, or a quick prayer before work. This is stopping to make His voice priority. This is halting in the madness of life to push everything else aside to just listen. This is not just being a servant of God, this is being His FRIEND.

Butterfly

Are you torn, little friend?
Torn between two realities.
Torn between who you were and who you've been declared. One clutching at you from the drudgery you called life, and one beckoning you from ahead.
How do you make it?
How do you stick it out?
How do you handle the transformation process?
Are there days when the end result seems so near you can almost taste it, then days when you're not sure if you have the courage to wait out the pain?

Was before so bad?
Open fields and springtime skies. Colorful blossoms and companions to share it with. Sure, there were hard times...you were fair game for the bigger and stronger. Sure you were worms, eking out a living on the ground. Sure you knew you were made to become something better.

Do you know what's coming?
Did you know the promise? The promise for all your ugliness to be turned to beauty. Do you remember trying to find fulfillment and satisfaction, to be full, only to find that everything was tough and tasteless just like always? Did you ever look longingly at one who had been transformed and realizing that they could soar, while...you only crawled.  They were able to draw the sweetness from life and soak in every beautiful moment. Is that hope what gives you patience now?

And now this.
This dark, cramped prison. No sunlight, no hope except the promise. No companions. No freedom to do what you want when you want. This pain, this  longing, this impatience, this struggle with your own self to just  stay put until the right time.

This prison is a chrysalis.

This prisoner: a caterpillar.

This impatient one: destined to be a butterfly.

This example: set here for me to learn from.

So I can learn that my waiting is not useless.

I, too, am in a cocoon of becoming. My present is not my future any more than a chrysalis is a butterfly. But the chrysalis is vital in the making of a butterfly. Like the little caterpillar, if I break out of my confinement too soon, all will be lost.  Like the caterpillar I will, in the end, realize just how worth it the waiting is.

In light of all this, there is courage to wait it out a little longer. There is the realization that this chrysalis time is not my prison, it is my launching pad. And this pain that transforms me is my best friend.

Soon everything will be different. I will be who I was proclaimed to be from the beginning of time.

Soon, like my friend the caterpillar, I will be able to soar

Waiting Doesn't Start Until You Think It Should Be Over

Psalm 37:9 "Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret it only causes harm. For evildoers shall be cut off; but those who wait on the Lord, they shall inherit the earth."

In times when we don't know what God is doing, it is easy to become fretful, or anxious, or to lash out in anger and frustration when we become insecure. It's all too common to find those who give in to sinful reactions when they didn't see an immediate reward for a little obedience. Remember, those give in to evil responses birthed from impatience will be cut off from the good things God has prepared for them. But those who endure -- those who patiently wait for the Lord's perfect timing will be abundantly rewarded. Don't worry if you've obeyed and still more obedience is required. God always takes care of those who let Him. Release the decision, the frustration, the worries, the questions into God's hands and see if He will not work things out so much better than you could have.

"God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him." -Jim Elliot

The Decision

Coming towards the throne of the King. 

My heart catches in my throat. Just like it does every time I see Him. 
There is something about Him, His throne, His voice...it touches every emotion.  It simultaneously stirs desire and satisfies it.

I love this place. 
I pass through the veil, and it falls behind me, leaving us alone. Just me and my God.

"What is Your command, my King?"

I'm in love, I'll do anything.

He tells me. 

The beauty of the moment comes crashing to a halt. All the joy of His Presence vanishes. 
What He asked challenges everything I WANT. It grates on my pleasure. It opposes my will.  Suddenly I am no longer walking through fields with my Lover, 


I am standing at a fork in the road with Him beckoning from one way and Self calling from the other.

I can't do what He wants. I cannot. It's too hard. 

I turn to Him, pleading with tears for Him not to ask this of me. Please, Lord, let there be another way!

He is unrelenting. 


That is what He wants, and nothing less will do.

I find myself turning to go. 

Past the veil of glory. Away from the sweet incense of a prayerful heart. Turning from the bronze laver where I was washed clean. Avoiding the altar. Outside the gates of praise to the dry desert called Confusion beyond.

Trying to find a way to please Self and Him. 
Two lovers calling, wooing.
I must choose one.

I survey the two paths.

The path of Self, I see many are on that path already. 


See, there is Samson. Mighty, weak Samson. The man of strong arms and faulty spirit who desired his enemy lovers above the purity of his call. Should I join him?

There, too, I see Lot. Intelligent, foolish Lot. The man who made smart decisions with his purse and poor with his family. The man who vexed his soul daily as he tried to prove that he could live in wickedness and not be singed. He stands by a pillar of salt...

Oh look, there too is Saul. Saul, the king with something to prove. Always a better idea, when he didn't consider God's good enough. I could walk with Saul and converse with him...we have much in common.

The path of Self-Denial. A cross marks the entrance of this way. I shudder and quickly shift my gaze beyond it.

Look, Queen Esther, I can see her, the beautiful queen marching confidently to sure death at the request of her God. She saved a nation.

Further on Abraham, the stranger in the strange land. The seeker of an incorruptible inheritance. No palace, no comfort, just the hard ground of patience and the bright vision of promise. He birthed a nation.

Caleb, I see, too. Unwavering, undiscourageable Caleb. The 80-year-old giant killer with indefatigable faith, standing against an entire people in the company of the loyal. 
He led a nation into promise.

Then...wait! Can it be...? Further down I see a man kneeling...sobbing...pleading. "Let this cup pass..." Oh, how well I recognize that cry.  Was I not recently pleading the same? "Yet not My will but Yours be done!"

Wait! I recognize that voice... 

It is my Lover Himself! I had forgotten that once my Jesus stood where I stand now. Once He faced the decision I now have to make. How could I have forgotten?  He made this choice. He made it for me! He died to have a chance of winning my affection.

What I fair weather lover I've been, to even consider another option. I said I would follow and at the first opposition, I fled. 


Forgive me, my Friend, I have been disloyal.

I find myself turning...fleeing...running away from Self and all it's finite charms. 
Running straight into the everlasting arms of the One who loved me first...who walked this Way first...who conquered Self first.

Sweet peace.

Dear satisfaction.

I'm back where I belong. 
Desire piqued and quenched simultaneously in an endless romance.

There is one thing remaining to be said. It starts a cry of sacrifice and ends a laugh of triumph...

"Not my will, but YOURS be done!"

Trust...

Have you noticed the themes that God writes across our lives? Do you have those reminders that He has etched on your heart by constantly going back to a single principle?

I do. Such as now when He asks, "Do you trust Me?"
When questions and worries pile up I pour out my 'need' for decisive answers to the Lord and His only response is. "Do you trust Me?"
When the answer to every prayer is still and always, constantly, "Do you trust Me?"
When my faith is 3 feet high and asked to face my soul's giant, "Do you trust Me?"
When my strength is gone, my purpose shattered and all I want to do is crawl into the dark and cry, "Do you trust Me?"
Day after day, moment upon confusing moment, "Do you trust Me?"
When the voice thundering over the "why's" speaks, "Do you trust Me?"
Every comforting word softly queries, "Do you trust Me?"
Every Scripture asks the same, "Do you TRUST Me?"

Every rock that would cry out, every sunrise full of promise, every gust of wind on my face it would seem is intent on hearing the answer - on commanding me to answer the weightiest of questions, "Do you trust Him?"
Even the smallest sparrow and each delicate lily asks me, "Do you trust Him?"
The heroes of the ages, the great crowd of witnesses seems to wonder from the pages of history and the Bible, "Do you trust Him?"
The altars I have built in the past on His faithfulness scream to me in my memory, asking, "Do you trust Him?"

So I wonder...DO I trust Him?

My thoughts drift over my life and situations and remember the times He has acted. Over and over, circumstance building upon circumstance, crowding to my vision, crying in my ears, memories show me the answer. Reminders in the pages of my journal, on the margins of my Bible, on the pictures on my wall, on the lives of the people I have met, in every nook and cranny of my own life I see it written plainly so I cannot escape it even if I tried. He HAS been faithful!!!
Logic and faith come together, memory and hope meet and each proclaims, "He CAN be trusted!"

So now the only question left is this..."WILL I trust Him?" I have to answer that now...and I will need to answer in 5 minutes, when I lie on my pillow tonight, tomorrow, the next day, each day, moment by moment, situations at a time, when I can't see the way, in joy, in pain, in darkness, in daytime, in the worst circumstance I can imagine, when my strength fails, when I am worried, anxious confused.........the question will remain to be answered every time I draw a breath, "Will I trust Him?"

It has me wondering.

But I think of the promise that my head WILL be lifted up,that this journey will make sense as I survey it at its close, that daybreak ALWAYS follows night, that there is a reason for THIS season and it IS NECESSARY for my life, that I am more than a conqueror, that I am an heir with Christ, that I am beloved, cherished, safe, sung over, sheltered, carried, free.

So ask again, Lord, that glorious question! Ask again if I trust You.
I will look You in the eye with a smile of anticipated triumph and declare with all my heart, soul, mind, and STRENGTH, clearly and loudly enough for my enemy and circumstance to be forewarned......
"YES! I trust You.

Count It ALL Joy

James 1:2-4 (NKJV)

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

If the Lord delivered us immediately from every uncomfortable or distressing circumstance we may be struck by His might and power...for a moment. Soon, though, the memory of would fade like a bad dream, and the memory of deliverance would fade with it. How could we remember? It was merely a fleeting second of need drowned in the cares of life.

When the Lord does NOT instantly deliver us from our trial, but walks with us in love, in comfort, in strength; that is when we are forever changed.

It is then we must lean on God to survive...and it is then we realize that, when in God's care, nothing can touch us.

It is in these sort of trials that we begin to truly understand the meaning in Psalm 91 "I will not be afraid of the terror by night, nor by arrows that fly by day..."

To be fully confident in the ability of God is to be without fear. As we watch the Lord carry us through our sorest trials we gain that full confidence...it is a mere matter of watching Him prove Himself. We can never have a chance to see the full ability of our God at work for us personally without trials. We can never have the ability to walk unscathed through life without these trials to test and strengthen us.

In this great trust and confidence we find that ability to accept any challenge without losing faith. We learn to smile in the middle of pain and sorrow. We gain a mature perspective of life and are able to weather the storms without shifting course.

In fact, the more we trust God, the more we become like Him. When we are fully trusting in the Lord and walking in His Spirit, love blossoms effortlessly and is not crushed by disappointment (because our hope is in God alone and He never disappoints). Joy flows out of us in rivers that are not stopped by circumstance (because God is bigger than my circumstance). Patience...here's the fun part....patient endurance gives birth to greater patient endurance which paves the way for greater acts of God to be worked in us! Gentleness comes naturally because we stop striving to survive. Goodness develops because, of course, we become like what we look at constantly. Faith rises in greater measure because we see the mighty works of God on an hourly basis. Meekness arrives as well, because trials also humble us - they expose the weakness and flaws of the old man so we are motivated to crucify him and live, instead, in Christ. Self-control, too, comes in trials as we learn to bring every emotion and reaction in check and fully possess this soul of ours to bring it under the Lordship of Christ in His ways.

Trials work patience. Patience work godly maturity. Enduring in trials stamps us indelibly with the character of Christ. THAT is both the reason and the means to count trials a joy.

Discovering the Art of Trust

Tonight I learn to trust.

I am on the brink of a decision…a decision that I cannot make. I have done all I can – all that is humanly possible I believe. Now I just sit and wait to see what tomorrow brings forth and what will await me in the outcome.

Some days it is hard to trust. It is easy to wonder if I have missed something and that is what is causing the delay. Was there some command of Christ’s that I have mislaid? Is there some duty I have failed to perform? Is there a sin I have not dealt with? Am I in the wrong place?

So I turn to my Bible to find the answer. I enter a cocoon of discovery to find what I am lacking.

Trust in the Hebrew means “to flee for protection; to confide in; have hope in; make refuge (Psalm 5:11) to be confident or sure; secure (Psalm 25:2, Psalm 9:10).
In the Greek it is “to expect or confide”.

So I wonder. Is my firm confidence and expectation in the Lord? It is a good question…but I don’t know that I have found the Word of the Lord for today yet. So I continue my search.

My need is for provision so, like normal, I find myself turning to Matthew 6 to read about the Lord’s great and trustworthy provision…and to find out what I am lacking.

Ah, the Lord takes care of the birds. They don’t toil or spin or store in barns for tomorrow – yet the Lord takes care of them day by day. The lilies too. What purpose does a lily serve? Nothing useful, surely, yet a lily does exactly what it was designed to do. A lily is a lily according to the Creator’s design and the Creator is careful to clothe the lily in splendor the same as the raspberry or any other more useful thing. Is a bird lazy to not think about tomorrow and fret if the food for the winter is stored up? No! Of course not! A bird has its job to do (purposeless though it may look compared to my own) and in doing its job it is not neglected by the Lord.

Here am I, setting out to do what I believe the Lord has designed me to do and I am fretting because the barns aren’t yet full for winter. Me! The one who has never gone hungry – the individual who has never lacked any necessity – the one who has seen the Lord move time and again just in the perfect time, the perfect way, and with the perfect results. And I am fretting?!?!
It’s true in verse 30 where it calls my faith so little. That word literally means “lacking confidence”. Not being absolutely confident in the ability and willingness of my Father to take care of me constitutes faithlessness. A faithless person’s destiny is grim indeed and my anxiety places me on the level of one tottering on the brink of hell. Why? Because faithlessness denies the nature, attributes, even the very existence of God!
Ouch! Tis time I spare not a moment in becoming very confident in the character of my God!

After a great deal of time spent in repentant tears and joyful praise I finish reading Matthew 6. I stumble upon this gem of wisdom…

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

Seek – the picture here is quite interesting. It is the image of an assassin seeking revenge on his foe. It is pursuit. It is singular purpose, focus, vision; unflinching determination. It is not resting until it has acquired what it was after.

First – means first in time, first in place, first in order, first in importance. It means at the beginning, chiefly, before anything else, with no hesitation.

Seek first what? Seek the kingdom of God. This includes the rule and reign of the kingdom of God.

What is kingdom rule?
• Righteousness
• Peace
• Joy

Righteousness is justification or right relationship with God due to a correct dealing with sin.
Peace is quietness or a “sense of God’s mercy. Peace regulating, ruling and harmonizing the heart.” (Adam Clarke’s Commentary)
Joy, last but not least, is a cheerfulness or calm delight (not noisy pandemoneous giddiness). But rather “happiness brought into the soul by the Holy Spirit and maintained there by the same influence.” (Clarke)

In other words, I am to pursue above all and before all “righteousness, without mixture of sin; peace, without strife or contention; joy, in the Holy Ghost, spiritual joy, without mixture of misery!” (Clarke)

How releasing! What wondrous things to pursue! And it is so much better than pursuing a paycheck or an answer from an employer.
Not only do I get to pursue the treasures that will bring delight and refreshing to my heart, but there is a promise that as I pursue them all that I need will be added. Mercy, justification, peace, joy AND provision. This sounds to me like a beautiful life!